The lies children tell are often not “malicious” in the way we might assume. They usually stem from fear, shame, avoiding punishment, or a need to protect themselves.
Why does a child lie?
- They are afraid of punishment
- They hesitate to admit they made a mistake
- They feel “I was not good enough”
- Overly strict or controlling parenting
- Developmental stages where imagination and reality become mixed
- Not wanting to upset their parents
- When “small lies” have become normalized at home
- A child becomes more likely to tell the truth when they find a face that does not judge them.
How should we approach it?
- Stay calm
- Instead of “Why did you lie?” ask, “Why was it difficult for you to say this?”
- Make it easier for them to tell the truth
- Avoid overreacting
- Build a strong relationship based on trust
When a child learns that they will still feel safe after telling the truth, honesty naturally becomes part of who they are.
Dr Mehmet Çolak, SpecialistChild and Adolescent Psychiatrist